about dream

I have a dream that is still hanging in my head and ready to come out. The thing is, I don’t find time to grow it day by day, simply because I have another priorities to do as a wife. Pursuing dream makes me feel alive and happy even I only do it for a bit every single day.

I’ve learned that it’s important to have “me time” every week or every month or every range of time you need, that’s why I go back doing yoga twice a week, I bake and cook anything I like, I read a book during my lunch break at the office library, I pray slowly and try to connect with Allah as deep as possible. Then I feel like I’m treating myself good enough.

But, there are still empty room for me, myself, need to fulfill. I know what that is. It’s my desire to grow my dream every single day.

How can I fulfill others when I feel lack of fulfillment?

Being a working wife is not easy for me.

In the other hand, my perfection kills my mood at home whenever I want to do something important. For example, When I want to cook, I see the dirty dishes and kitchen, I turn out clean everything and THEN cook. In the end, I feel exhausted. It happens often. I know I just need to let the mess JUST BE around, but I can’t. I still can’t.

If you ask, so what is your husband doing?

For house work, I can say nothing. Everything is done by me. He’s busy gardening and managing the IG account of @kebunrumahkami, hehehe. He’s actually providing me all the tools I need to clean the house, the equipment to bake and cook everything I want, and the finest gadget to support my work and achieve my dream. Well, I’m happy to do all the work for the sake of my service to God as my new role, wife. But sometimes I’m tired. That’s all I want to say. All the tools indeed should makes the work easier, but then my perfection makes me tired. Hehe this thing really needs to be released when I do the housework.

When I’m tired, I can’t do anything to get closer to my dream. It makes my heart broken every time I see my laptop on the table, waiting patiently for me to find my time, ready to work with me.

Wait, just wait. I’ll chase you in another second. 

I promise. :)

May Allah give us a chance to achieve our dream. Aamiin YRA.

about fear

If fear of fall in love makes someone better, why does love can’t?

If fear of someone makes someone wiser, why does love can’t?

If fear of going back normal makes someone stronger, why does love can’t?

Why does love can’t change something for better?

Why does love can’t move mountain?

Maybe indeed love doesn’t always feel so good.

Maybe love just tests you.

Maybe love is just concept in one person and real action in another.

Maybe love has many faces.

about work

There so many bosses and a few leaders.

Bosses who always check your task but never know how to do it.

Bosses who always busy with their own business and don’t care about where this institution going to.

Bosses who only give command and never offer a team work.

Bosses who think they are always right while the others are wrong.

Bosses who pretend don’t read the message but in the other hand we know that they do.

They are bosses who are irresponsible.

I have enough with them as a part who can make decision.

I really have enough.

extra faith

You might heard a quote about do something that you’ll thank yourself one day. 

Or in other words do something that you’ll never regret forever in this world and hereafter. 

It’s not that good persons don’t know how to do good. But they don’t know how to avoid bad situation. Then they lose their patient, cross the line, and give up to their faith. They end up regret what they did.

It’s indeed a tough world out there, thus every inch of faith must be protected and grown. So everytime we need extra faith, we can pick them up.

terima kasih

Terima kasih sudah menyediakan tempat bernaung untukku.

Terima kasih sudah memberikan contoh untuk berbuat kebaikan.

Terima kasih sudah melakukan pengorbanan untuk orang lain, selalu.

Terima kasih sudah menerbitkan senyum mulai dari bangun pagi sampai tidur kembali.

Terima kasih sudah menerobos lautan manusia setiap hari untuk kebaikan di masa depan.

Terima kasih sudah selalu jujur dalam membangun pribadiku.

Terima kasih sudah menjadikan ibadahku utuh.
Terima kasih sudah menambah ladang pahala untukku.

Maafkan aku banyak menuntut.

Maafkan aku banyak cemberut.

Maafkan aku yang tak mengerti kebutuhanmu.

Maafkan aku yang terlalu dalam mencintaimu.

Maafkan aku yang sulit untuk sembuh.

Tidak ada yang menjadi kepunyaanku, begitupun dengan kepunyaanmu. Semua hanya titipan. Semoga aku dan kamu termasuk orang-orang yang bersyukur dengan menjaga apa-apa yang dititipkanNya sampai hari ini.

hug

I want to hug so many people in my life.

Who are fighting from illness

Who are accompanying their loved ones fighting from illness

Who are losing their loved ones forever

Who are confused with life and lost their minds

Who are knocked off many many times

Who are searching the answer of their questions

Who are confused between the “rights” and “wrongs”

Who don’t get enough love when they’re young

Who don’t know the differences between love and unloved

I want to hug you and say “everything is gonna be alright according to Allah’s plan. I hope you find peace and forever be blessed.”