I train myself to not attracted with money, things, materials.
None of them will go with me when I die.
Thus I love to give, share what I have, either it’s money, things, materials.
I don’t count that hard the money what I get from my work. If it’s my right, I will take it. If it’s not, I will not take it even though most of the employees take it as an incentive, or bonus, or gift.
I’m so afraid if the incentive money that I take will harm me and my family one day.
I’m so afraid until sometimes I forget about my own right.
My Mom said that I need to be more stiff to people, for my own dignity, so people won’t see me low and treat me wrong. And she said don’t lend the money to people who don’t have intention to return it back. “But I want to help them Mom, and I’m not hoping anything in return.” She was angry and said “In this life, people have to have responsibility. By doing so, you are not giving them lesson to be responsible. Although they have many problems, don’t lend them money. They treat your kindness wrong”.
I didn’t fully understand on what my Mom said at first because I think it is just a matter of intention; my intention to help, and their intention to (maybe) fool me. But I stop arguing her anyway. I know she’s right and I just need to find someone who I can help in a good way.
But a mother is right. She’s always almost right.
Many times I feel some people take me for granted. My thoughts, advise, energy, money, love, tolerance.
That is why my Mom doesn’t want me to be too soft to people.
But deep inside my heart I know they who treat me wrong are just confused, bias, or maybe they don’t know what to do with other people, with their life, with their future. And acknowledging those is enough for me to forgive them, to always be kind to them, to give lesson to them.
Ah, it’s only God that can give such fulfilment for me.
Thank You Allah. I’m so nothing without You.