Ramadhan 2013

I think the last two-year-of Ramadhan is my Ramadhan moment. I remember in Ramadhan 2013, I set a target to do Tarawih prayer at the all mosques in Yogya. I remember, I never went home early to prepare for my iftar because after office hour I went to the mosque where I’ve never been to, and I searched for restaurant or street food for iftar. I was alone at that time. There are only two or three days that my friend joined with my ritual: from the office to the mosque, then had an iftar and pray maghrib, continued with reading Quran and did tarawih and witir prayer. If I’m not mistaken, I did it every single day. I got home at 9 pm. Then I had no energy left to do anything other than sleeping and continuing my days. Even when I was out of town, I searched the mosque and did the same ritual.

Yes, it was exhausting. There were several days I had fever because I was lack of rest. My Mom was worried, and I convinced her I’m OK.

I also set a goal to give sodaqoh where I did tarawih prayer. Again, every single day.

The question are, why I did all those rituals? How did I do to consistently do that ritual?

The answer is, I was longing for a partner. I pushed myself to did it with focusing on my goal.

After years of failed relationship, after sooooo bloody many questions about marriage, after I grew some lumps in my breast, after I learned how to love and appreciate myself, after I found another Nahdya in me, I did longing for a partner and I prayed hard in that Ramadhan.

And then, 3 months later, someone came. He literally came from “out of the blue” situation. He never intended to date me. Only one meeting and he asked me to marry him. The rest of the months until our marriage day were only preparation for the big day.

It feels like miracle.

God really works in ways the we will never know.

Don’t lose faith in Him.

What makes me feels like having another miracle is the total amount of money that I gave for shodaqoh in Ramadhan 2013 is the same amount of money that my husband give to me every single month for nafkah!

This is surreal for me. There is a hadits that says if you do one good deed in Ramadhan, God will return it to you 10 more times. And God has given me more than 10 times because we’ve married for 13 months now. I know that is not the right way to count. The point is, just do more prayer, shodaqoh, good deeds, kindness, everything your cells can do in this Holy Month.

Do not waste every second chance because it’s Ramadhan! :) :) :)

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