about dream

I have a dream that is still hanging in my head and ready to come out. The thing is, I don’t find time to grow it day by day, simply because I have another priorities to do as a wife. Pursuing dream makes me feel alive and happy even I only do it for a bit every single day.

I’ve learned that it’s important to have “me time” every week or every month or every range of time you need, that’s why I go back doing yoga twice a week, I bake and cook anything I like, I read a book during my lunch break at the office library, I pray slowly and try to connect with Allah as deep as possible. Then I feel like I’m treating myself good enough.

But, there are still empty room for me, myself, need to fulfill. I know what that is. It’s my desire to grow my dream every single day.

How can I fulfill others when I feel lack of fulfillment?

Being a working wife is not easy for me.

In the other hand, my perfection kills my mood at home whenever I want to do something important. For example, When I want to cook, I see the dirty dishes and kitchen, I turn out clean everything and THEN cook. In the end, I feel exhausted. It happens often. I know I just need to let the mess JUST BE around, but I can’t. I still can’t.

If you ask, so what is your husband doing?

For house work, I can say nothing. Everything is done by me. He’s busy gardening and managing the IG account of @kebunrumahkami, hehehe. He’s actually providing me all the tools I need to clean the house, the equipment to bake and cook everything I want, and the finest gadget to support my work and achieve my dream. Well, I’m happy to do all the work for the sake of my service to God as my new role, wife. But sometimes I’m tired. That’s all I want to say. All the tools indeed should makes the work easier, but then my perfection makes me tired. Hehe this thing really needs to be released when I do the housework.

When I’m tired, I can’t do anything to get closer to my dream. It makes my heart broken every time I see my laptop on the table, waiting patiently for me to find my time, ready to work with me.

Wait, just wait. I’ll chase you in another second. 

I promise. :)

May Allah give us a chance to achieve our dream. Aamiin YRA.

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