Indeed, time flies so fast. Just like a blink of eyes, It’s been 24th day of Ramadhan already. What have I done for almost 3 weeks? Have I done better that last Ramadhan? Have I achieved what I want to achieve in this Ramadhan? Those questions haunted me, and I feel nerves every time I reflect about it.
Maybe I have done less better this year because I am very busy with new house, new neighbor, hampers preparation, family picture preparation on Eid, breaking the fast together with cousins and friends, planning for mudik, and of course my work trip. God, now I know why my feet feel so tired everytime I woke up for sahoor
Although I try to strive for ibadah sunnah during my busyness, but still, there are two days I skipped tarawih because I was super tired and the time showed midnight already. I let my tarawih done in my dream :(.
Maybe I have mixed prioritize in this Ramadhan, not like the last year when I was so focus on khataming my Quran from Juz 1 to Juz 30. Alhamdulillah Allah made me achieve my target last year. Praise to Allah. I don’t know when I will be able to do it again. But this year, maybe Allah directs me to go through times and still remember that “this month is Ramadhan, Nahdya. It’s Ramadhan.“. Maybe that’s why I am always able to wake up for sahoor at 3.30 and cook. OMG, I can’t believe myself! Or maybe that is why I am so eager to cook at home most of the days, so my husband and I can break the fast together at home. Or maybe that’s why all stuffs I mentioned above going well and I still have time to read Quran. Or maybe that’s why I could plan the trip for my brother and sister who are finally come to celebrate Eid in my Father’s house in Semarang and we will have a long roadtrip. Or maybe any other else a good reasons beyond in this hectic holy month.
I may not achieve my target this Ramadhan. My target is much simple than last year: to do all the sholat sunnah or at least tarawih fully in this Ramadhan. It’s clear, I missed two days already. But I achieve so many more that I didn’t plan before. I hope.. really hope Allah directs me just like I feel which are, I’m getting better in serving my families, waking up in the morning and cook (!), cleaning up the house, and showing better attitudes at work (I really have issue with someone at the office.. you can imagine the drama).
I hope Allah sees me and happy with what I did. It’s always based on His Name I take my every step.